Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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