I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
