you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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