dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
