He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
