I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
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