so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
