tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Watching her eat just hurts me
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
