Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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