are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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