Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
