Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
