You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
