Having a random hookup so left but love u
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
