Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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