just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I don't deserve a penis
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
