I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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