I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize