would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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