I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
