i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
