Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize