just come out here and I will go home with you...
Define "chronic" masturbator.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
