Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
