I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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