everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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