..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I am mentally ready for anal.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
