I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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