just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
