I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
