I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
