someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
that is very illegal...i love you.
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