Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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