I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I see more hoeing in ur future
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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