I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
My penis needs a shock collar
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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