Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Pants are for mortals
We need to get me chipped asap
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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