woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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