I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
