I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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