Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
