Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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