Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
