Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
