I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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