So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
