So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
