It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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