So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
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She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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