I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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