i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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