I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize