So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
