Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
