Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
