i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
