i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
