Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
