Im at strip club and am horny
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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