There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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