so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
